My Kidney Donation Story: Timothy Malsbury

When my wife was first diagnosed with Stage 4 chronic kidney disease, our world turned upside down. We were in disbelief. She was getting close to Stage 5, and we were told that she would likely need a transplant. 

We always looked at the bright side—never at the negative. My wife could have had pancreatic cancer, or she could have lost a leg. She just needed a kidney—it could be worse. 

Eventually, she was approved to go on the transplant list for a deceased donor. We had only briefly talked about me being a donor. My wife didn’t want me to because we didn’t want to be two parents with only one kidney.  

But once my wife was on the transplant list, I just figured that the fastest way to get a kidney was for me to give her one: You need a kidney, and I got one. I thought, there is no way I can ask someone to give my wife a kidney if I am not willing to do it myself. So I called the transplant coordinator at Montefiore and told her I wanted to be tested. 

My kidney would have worked for her, but it was not the best match, so we decided to join the National Kidney Registry’s Voucher Program. Six months later, we got a call from Montefiore saying they had found a living donor match: my wife would get a kidney from a donor in Rochester, New York, and my kidney would go to someone in Massachusetts. We needed to let them know in three hours whether we were going to take it. 

We drove home like deer in headlights. My wife spoke to her nephrologist and asked why she should go ahead with the transplant if she felt good and her numbers were stable. The doctor said, “You’re right—your numbers are stable, you look good, you feel good, and you have no symptoms. But you are one infection or illness away from being very sick. Take that kidney.” 

I had a lot of “wow” moments throughout this journey. One was when we were at a presentation about transplantation and I met a woman who had wanted to donate her kidney to the child of a friend. As she was trying to convince her family, the child died. She decided to donate her kidney anyway to a stranger. I mean, I knew the world was full of beautiful people, but not of this caliber.  

My next real wow moment was when I met my wife’s surgeon, Dr. Yaffe. After 45 minutes of answering our questions and going over all the details, Dr. Yaffe asked if we had any other questions. So I asked what made her want to become a transplant surgeon. She said that when she was in 11th grade, her dad’s best friend, who was like a father to them, was a neurosurgeon, so she wanted to be a neurosurgeon, too. In her fifth year of medical school, her father needed a liver transplant, so she donated a portion of her liver to him. That experience made her change her focus to transplantation. 

Dr. Yaffe had never mentioned that she was a living donor. I was already going to donate, but that was still an incredible wow moment for me. I knew that we were in the right hands. 

Our surgeries were on August 20. Mine was at 6 a.m., and my wife’s was at 4 p.m. At 9 p.m. that night, Dr. Yaffe came to my room. She wasn’t my surgeon, but she was in on my surgery as a copilot, so she had probably been up since 3 a.m.  

Very quickly, I’m emotional, and she’s emotional. She grabs my hand. I said, I can’t believe you were up so early and you still came to see me. She said, “Tim, I’m not here as a doctor, I’m here as a donor. Once a donor, always a donor.”  

The next morning at 9 a.m., both surgeons, the transplant coordinator, and the social worker are all sitting at the foot of my bed for 15 minutes. There was not a dry eye in the room.  

When we started this journey, it was so confusing. I have made a lot of bad decisions in my life, but donating a kidney was not one of them. I feel no different today. My sleep patterns have changed, but other than that, I feel no different. 

It’s been nine weeks, and my wife’s kidney is functioning well—she’s doing better every day. We were very fortunate, and we’re very grateful. 

I have to say that if my wife had ended up with a kidney from someone else and I didn’t have to give one up, I was still going to donate—I had just heard too many stories. I just want to be an advocate for living donation now.

About the Author

Timothy Malsbury has owned an advertising agency in New York since he was 28, and he is now 64. He is the youngest of seven siblings. He met his beautiful wife Beth in 1995, and they got married in 2001. They have a daughter, Ryann, 24, and a son, Ashton, 22. About two years ago, Beth’s was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease and eventually needed a transplant. On August 20, 2025, he donated a kidney to stranger in Massachusetts and in return Beth received one from someone in Rochester, New York. By the grace of God, Beth is living a normal life today and is only required to take anti-rejection drugs.