My Kidney Donation Story: Jeffrey Barker

My kidney donation journey started in early February 2024, when my friend posted on Facebook about his need for a kidney. The best way I can describe it is that I am a person of faith, and I felt God’s spirit call me to make myself available.

I didn’t know anything about kidney donation, but I followed the link in the post and began the process of being evaluated as a potential donor. One thing I really appreciated about the process is that I was always asked whether I wanted to continue with the next step.

I saw the entire evaluation team, including blood work, EKG, social work, and all the other diagnostics. I was approved, but then I was told that I was not a very good match for my friend.

That was somewhat disappointing, but they told me that there were other avenues I could explore, like paired donation and the Voucher Program. I agreed to move forward with a voucher donation. I would donate my kidney anonymously, and my friend would be elevated in the process as he waited for a good match.

When I talked to my wife about it, she said, “Yeah, this seems like something you would do.” I named my wife and daughters as backup voucher holders, so if my friend was not able to use the voucher, it would be available if they ever needed it.

I had the donation surgery on December 10, 2024. Even that day, as I was walking to the surgical room, I was asked again if I wanted to go through with it. I realized that my initial “yes” was not my final “yes”—yeses needed to be said all along the process. In mid-February, my friend got a match.

My recovery was spectacular—I’ve had no issues at all. I had never had any kind of major surgery, and I was surprised at how quickly they were ready to discharge me from the hospital. I went in on Tuesday, and they were ready to discharge me on Wednesday, although I ended up staying till Thursday.

I was out walking the next week, and within three to four weeks, I had resumed full activities and did not feel limited in any way. Now, I have to remind myself that I donated a kidney. I feel back to normal. I run marathons and triathlons, but I am not back in training for a variety of reasons. I’m very grateful.

To anyone considering kidney donation, I would tell them that their initial “yes” is not their final “yes.” They can explore and learn along the way, and with each interaction, they have the option to opt out if they need to. Don’t hesitate to fill out the initial screening form. Until you feel you need to back out, continue to explore.

About the Author

Jeff was born in Illinois and currently splits his time between New York City and Maine, where he and his wife, Stacey, own her childhood home. They have been married for over 32 years and have two daughters: Emily and son-in-law Miguel and Abigail, and son-in-law Douglas. He earned numerous degrees and spent time as a college professor. For a season, his work focused on assisting unhoused and under/unemployed veterans secure permanent housing and stable employment. Today, he serves as a minister and oversees more than 100 churches in the Metro New York area as a District Superintendent. In his spare time, he enjoys traveling with his wife and competes in road races and triathlons, completing eight marathons and finishing an Ironman triathlon in 2021.